missives from mid-america

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Enough Is Too Much

It’s not that I can’t multitask – I can. If it gets too hairy, I actually write down all of the elements currently brewing so that nothing slips through the cracks. But this week is getting away from me. And the exclamation point is the fact that both Eli’s birthday and his last weekend before entering the public school system officially are upon us.

Balance is the key to most things. One way to balance is to split into so many slices that it’s nearly impossible for any one to have a greater weight. That method is untenable for extended time. Certainly not more than a week, and that’s what’s happening currently.

As ever, this too shall pass, but I don’t want to let important things slip – like Eli’s concerns about a new school. I want him to go in with confidence and excitement, but he definitely plays off of our emotions. So, the best thing for everyone is for me to get a grip and be the rock. Get ahead of the work that needs to be done. Add some levity. No big deal…

NOT for Fools

It’s hard to believe football season is nigh upon us. I’ve already seen estimates of a 3-13 season from the Bears, so my hopes are pretty low. Perhaps they’ll tank and move up in the draft and find the successor they’ve needed for a while.

Even harder to believe is that Eli will be going into kindergarten in a few weeks. He’ll turn five at just the same time, and while we’ve been told by almost everyone that it’s probably better to hold off on sending him, we think he’s ready. He’s a head taller than some kids his age, his communication skills rival some adults I know (he’s really only hampered by a lack of worldly experience – dude can talk his way out of anything), but his emotional stability is lagging a little. I think it’s easy to see why.

Both his mother and I are worriers. He likely has the genes to foster worrying, but then there’s us bolstering it. Other kids seem to be able to face adversity and be upset, but then move on, but Eli has a pretty sharp focus that will not relent. On the other hand, we’ve heard from other parents that this is not atypical for the age, but I worry that maybe they’re exaggerating to make me feel better.

See? The kid is working out of a deficit.

Overall, he’s a very adaptable kid. So, if the rest of his class is tying their shoes or counting to 100, it won’t be long before he can also do that. I get the impression that the obstinate child we encounter doesn’t make an appearance in school, or places where we aren’t. I hope that’s the case. Typically, he’s excited about these new experiences.

He’s already said that he plans to meet lots of new friends at his new school, and I’m glad that’s his focus. When we registered him for school, the stated goal of his new class was “to make new friends” which sounds like kismet.

We’re worried, but excited to have landed in the house and the town we did. Lots of friends, lots of support, and plenty to do any given day make it a joy. The school and new principal seem perfect for us, and I have high hopes that Eli will start his ascent through his education on a strong note.

Thank goodness, really, because a 3-13 season is going to require some distraction.

The Petards – Too Many Heavens

I don’t know, I think this one is all I need. Watching a band called The Petards on a work computer (at lunch, of course) with good headphones and THAT DRUMMER.

I think I’ve approached the instrument all wrong.

Yep. All wrong.

The Hics – All We’ll Know

Sometimes, just listening to the right music at the right time is all I need to feel good. It doesn’t seem to matter when I listen to the Hics, though. I’m not sure if it’s the male and female voices intertwined or the reserved, yet silky-smooth tracks beneath them, but this scratches an itch I’ve had since the 70s. There seems to be far too little output by the duo – all I can find is a beautiful EP and this song. I’m hoping that’s just because they’re working on licensing in the U.S. or recording a full-length album. Sure hope this song title isn’t a sign.

Back on Track (mostly)

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Well, lots has changed. For example, we moved towns. The new place is actually back to where we started as a couple. It’s changed a lot, but maybe not as much as I would have expected given the financial turmoil and recovery of the years since we’ve been gone. Independent of the economy, this area resists change, which is good or bad, depending on the mood any given day.

I enjoyed being next to a very large city. We were far enough to avoid the crime but near enough to enjoy the grand-scale park district, forest preserves, shopping, and the like. The penalty was not being close enough to our oldest friends and not being able to walk anywhere but the bank and post office. Don’t get me wrong, they were a great bank and post office, but they closed pretty early each day.

Our new town puts us walking distance from a genuine downtown, lots of restaurants, Farm & Fleet (yee haw!), and the school where Eli will go to kindergarten this Fall. We know business owners, teachers, neighbors, bankers, carpenters, and lots of other folks in the town where we live now. We already feel some civic pride, and we’ve already ruined a library book by accident.

Better yet, we’ve felt welcomed. It seems like we’ve been frantically trying to get our acts together since we moved. One room is still full of old carpet and half-opened boxes. At a point, we’ll have to bow to attrition and just dump what’s left in there. We have tons to finish (window dressings, roof, landscaping, a complete bathroom overhaul) and life has a way of keeping things interesting, but I think I speak for all of us when I say we feel at home. In 10 years, I’m not sure I ever really felt that way in Sugar Grove.

That’s no slight on Sugar Grove – it’s highly underrated. I feel about it like I felt about my Saturn Vue. Probably the best car for the situation at the time and I’ll look back on it fondly, but not my favorite.

Hopefully, now that our location has settled a bit, I can get back to playing music and writing blog posts that nobody reads. I’ve missed it all.

Feeling the Love

Without getting too melodramatic, the past few weeks (hell, since Christmas) have been weird and difficult. Slicing through all the bullshit, however, is my lovely wife. With a good night’s sleep, she says the stuff that makes me want to move a mountain (which is good, because that’s essentially how much crap we have).

Also weighing in on the attempt to wring some positive from all the challenges are friends and family. Band mates with no actual band for a while lending a hand and in-laws saving the day. There was the painter who finished under budget and days earlier than anyone expected and the roofer who offered practical advice and did some difficult work for a song. These things have taken me from being overwhelmed to thinking I have it under control, which is significant.

(written on May 14th, 2015 at 10:50 AM)

Pulling Up Tent Stakes


This time last year, we were facing the end of an era with our beloved pup. One of the common refrains was “we have to get out of Sugar Grove”. There’s nothing inherently wrong with Sugar Grove, or our house, but Nina’s demise was a pretty clear demarcation point for us.

The next part of our life should happen somewhere else. We had gotten ten good years out of the area and the house, and it’s time to move on. Some things we wanted to consider were proximity to life-long friends, schools for Eli, and a place that didn’t require a car ride to everything. We want to be a walking or biking family.

Fast-forward to this past weekend – we put an offer on a house that fits most of our needs, but also happens to be less than a block from one of Jennie’s best friends. We’re very excited about moving in, and while I was a little concerned about how Eli would handle it, he seems more eager than anyone.

Mostly, he’s excited about a rock climbing wall that’s extended above the staircase with a belay rope anchored to the ceiling. He referred to it as “the house with the rock climbing wall” and probably expects it to stay. If it does stay, we’ll probably take it down and install it in his room.

The enormity of the fact that we won’t live by the Jewel or the library where he became aware of libraries might take a while to settle in, but we’ll be a similar distance from the Sycamore library in our new house, so maybe there will be enough stuff to replace what we had in Sugar Grove that he won’t miss it.

We made a similar move when I was around his age, and I really didn’t miss the old house. My bigger hope is that there are more kids in our new neighborhood who Eli can bond with and maybe even go to school with in the Fall. Probably the main point of this move is to get him set up for kindergarten and his ongoing schooling.


Needless to say, much has changed since this was written. The rock climbing wall was removed with the kind help of Mark and Emilio. After trying three or four different painters, we finally settled with a guy recommended by my old boss from 20 years ago. This guy came in and knocked it out of the park.

After discussing it with a few people, I decided to take on the mold issue in our new Sycamore attic by myself. It looks to be mostly inert – just discolored over the years. We got a quote of $1800 to do the same. That seems excessive compared to the risk (almost none) and work (very little) involved.

Then, we got the inspection report back from the buyers of our current house. This is when the wonderful deal we thought we were giving started to unravel. They want new windows, a home warranty, and a few things that we can’t really argue with. The windows seems excessive, but the other stuff would need to get done whether they were buying or someone else was.

So, now we’re under the gun to get our stuff moved, get the basement and attic air cleared of mold spores (there’s really only one spot in the attic that has visible mold, and it’s small), fix some broken shingles, and hopefully we’re done. I cannot wait for the 22nd. I mean, there’s a ton to do before then, but after that, we’re free and clear and we’ll know where we stand.

The Most Wonderful Time of Year

Jennie had Eli dictate a letter to Santa this year. Keep in mind that he’s already asked us if Santa is real or pretend. We’ve not answered directly, but it’s starting to feel a little duplicitous. On the other hand, there’s the magic part. I remember knowing about Santa but not asking because I was afraid it was true, and therefore might short my annual gift haul. Eli is showing signs that he similarly gets the game.

Without further ado, here’s the letter, verbatim:

1 fork lift
2 actually I want to say something to santa: I love you santa. You give lots of presents to people. It’s fine. I love you santa.
3 I want a lifter truck. Please can I have it? You are just the best santa in the world. Can I have a lifter truck?


Alzheimer’s Walk

This project is important to us because Jennie has gravitated toward the dementia unit at the nursing home since she started working there. She deals with people with varying stages of neurological decline (and their families) full time. I remember my first face-to-face brush with Alzheimer’s – a friend had come back from visiting his mom and, in tears, relayed that she didn’t know who he was. I can’t think of a thing more alienating or flat-out sad. It’s one thing to lose someone when they die, but it’s a Twilight Zone episode gone very wrong when you lose them but can still have a conversation with them as though they’re a complete stranger.

There are fascinating aspects of Alzheimer’s, like how sometimes memories of close family members fade, but music persists. She says that people who no longer function in any other way will sometimes sing songs. Jennie would be the ideal person to study the disease, but in the short term, she takes care of these folks in their time of need.

We don’t typically ask people for money or donations. It’s not something we’re comfortable doing, but in this case, there is some viable research being done and it seems like there are small breakthroughs happening all the time in the study of Alzheimer’s. We will be participating in a walk to benefit Alzheimer’s research on 9/21/14, and while we are prepared to fund our goal ourselves, we’d also very much appreciate any help. There’s no pressure, obviously, but if you have an inclination to donate, click THIS LINK, or search for Jennie Borresen in the the Donate area. Here’s info on the Dekalb County Rehab and Nursing Center team.

Thanks for your consideration, and I hope you never have to face this disease.

Auto This World

Yesterday, I dropped off my 2013 Subaru Outback at the dealership for what I hope is the last time. It consumes oil and fits the profile of a small group of cars built that year that have this issue. Luckily, I’ve stuck to the manual and done all the appropriate service stuff so that this will be handled under warranty. Since the issue started, I’ve gotten to know the service staff at my local Subaru shop pretty well. First name basis, and regular checks on each others’ kids have become the norm. I bought this car in 2012 after 3 or 4 years of tracking the new body style and the declining health of my previous car.

In researching the Outback, I thought back on the history of cars I’ve owned so far, and it was a little surprising how many there were in retrospect. Some met with calamity, some died of old age, and some were just no longer useful. I’m not particularly hard on vehicles, but maybe I just have bad motor karma.

Here’s the list of cars, along with my memory of why I got them and why I got rid of them:

1981 Volkswagen Rabbit (tan): My first car. 5-speed, so learned to shift just after learning to drive. This thing had lots of miles on it, but there was also something wrong with the motor from the start. I had been saving up money to get a car and it was all I could afford, so it never got the attention it probably needed. Struts were shot very quickly after buying it, but that didn’t stop me from driving it to the quarry for some off-roading. Overall, this was a great car for learning about how engines and suspension are supposed to work. A cautionary tale, if you will. I also learned how to do reverse FWD cookies in this car, drag raced it against another Rabbit in the high school parking lot, and ultimately crashed it after the rear end got loose on a massive sheet of ice. Bad conditions + bald tires = calamity. Interestingly, the Chevy Suburban who hit me (I ended up in his lane – he had no options) had to be towed (broken radiator) but I was able to drive the rest of the way home.

1981 Volkswagen Rabbit (green): Having pity on me for the numerous issues with the first car, my folks chipped in for this one. I needed a way to get back and forth. I don’t remember much about this one – can’t even remember why I got rid of it, but I assume it had worse motor troubles. Our neighbor behind us just happened to be selling his 1980-something Datsun/Nissan (Sentra?) and gave me a deal.

198x Datsun/Nissan Sentra (silver): This was my first experience with getting scammed. Interesting that it was our neighbor who perpetrated the bad deal. This car had lots of hard miles on it, but the price was right, so I lived with it for a few years. I don’t think I was ever able to rid the interior of the after shave smell our neighbor left on the stick shift or the steering wheel. At a point, I realized why he got rid of it when it started having trouble delivering gas to the motor. A new carb for this P.O.S. was $700, and since it was an import, there was no skirting it. A used one was $500. I think I paid $900 for the car. Sold it while it didn’t even run.

(<< my actual car!)

1966 Chevy II Nova (navy blue): My favorite car by a long shot. Found it in one of the car magazines at the front of a grocery store. Bought it from a nursing student near Comiskey Park who was having trouble parking it all the time (no power steering). It was a 4-door, 2-speed, straight-6 utilitarian commuter with bench seats. I could fit my drums in the trunk and back seat with ease, plus two people. My dream was to eventually clean it up and add a trailer hitch and a nice stereo. But then I left the color-matched, fitted gas cap at Bockman’s (when they were still a gas station), the rear quarter panel got smashed in while parallel parked in downtown DeKalb*, and ultimately, the entire rear end of the car got totaled by a drunk driver, mid-afternoon, while the car was parked off the shoulder, awaiting a tow (fuel pump died). The officer on the scene said it was a 55 MPH collision, and yet all four doors still opened. That was the final straw, and after talking to my insurance agent about what the car was worth before and after that last wreck, I sold it cheap to a friend who was building a similar car. Before all the accidents and other stuff, it was easily the coolest car I have owned.

1991 S10 Pickup, Ext. Cab (white): Another great Chevy in my past. This truck was small, but with the extended cab and full-sized bed with a cap, was the perfect vehicle. It also had a V6, but smaller and more fuel efficient. And in the peak of my rock star halcyon days, it was the perfect cover. Where I had been pulled over just for having long hair in the Nova, I never once caught a second glance in the retiree-mobile. Plus, I could fit a twin mattress between the wheel wells in the back, so after a show, I always had a backup plan if I was too drinky to drive. All that came to a sudden end when I hit an icy patch (again) and slid into the open tailgate of a pickup hauling sand (and not going at a green light), thereby shearing into the motor and totaling the car. It’s possible that had I not crushed it, I could still be driving that car today.

1993 S10 Blazer (dark green): This is still my second favorite car. On the heels of the pickup, I wanted something similar, but with a back seat. The Blazer was very similar to a larger, 4×4 version of the pickup, so there was no learning curve. Also, it had a killer motor (4.3L V6) and the stock stereo worked great. For my new job, which took me all over the Chicago area, it was impractical but ideal. There was never a time where I felt trapped in traffic, and weather was no longer a hindrance to travel. On the other hand, it was not built to be a commuter car, and eventually, the heater core died, all the oil fell out, the PCV valve crippled it, and the price of gas came onto everyone’s radar. When the price of fixes outweighed the thought of a car payment, we decided to trade it in.

2001 Honda Civic (black): This car, while very nice and well-appointed for the price, was not a good transition from the Blazer. It missed everything I liked about the Blazer and couldn’t fit me with three other average-sized adult men comfortably. I don’t remember what my plan was for hauling drums, but it was clearly short-sighted. Having seen the new-ish BMW X5 launch event, and also having visited a Saturn dealership with a friend, I was more open-minded about the brand new Vue they were about to launch. In fact, I talked to a salesman and learned that not only were they very roomy inside, but also quite affordable. So, we were able to trade the Civic in on what ultimately became my most practical car.

(<< not my actual car)

2002 Saturn Vue (silver): Technically, this was my second brand new car, but I don’t really count the Civic. The Vue was engineered differently than other cars at the time. It was the first iteration of a platform that GM would eventually use for the Equinox, the SRX, and a slew of others. It rode like a car – center of gravity felt low – but had the interior space of a utility vehicle. The back seat was comfortable and also folded down flat – plenty of room for all the drums. More than once, I was able to fit a full sheet of plywood inside the car to drive it home. That’s impressive. FWD meant it typically got 28 MPG in general, so it was practical. Also, I didn’t have a major issue with the car for 10 years, which seems unheard of these days. 5 years without payments or significant repairs. Near the end, though, while closing in on 150K miles, a cylinder dropped out and while it was repaired (but never quite the same), it had done damage to the already old catalytic converter. Based on any car buying guide, a replacement catalytic converter (parts alone) would be more expensive than the retail price of the car. Plus, we had a new baby, and I didn’t want to take chances.

2013 Subaru Outback 2.5i Premium (graphite gray): I had been looking at the Outback since Subaru updated the look in 2009. They made it more roomy in the back seat and I liked the overall aesthetic of the car. I also wanted something that would handle like the Blazer in adverse conditions. There was an option for an upgraded stereo, but the standard one sounded great in the showroom. I could save $2000 by getting a manual transmission. I saved more by not bothering with a sun roof. Ultimately, after an afternoon in the dealership, I got the price and payment I wanted with an extended warranty to boot. So far, barring the oil consumption issue (not insignificant), it’s my dream car. Without the oil issue, it might have already landed in my number 2 spot. I’ll need to drive the Outback 8 more years to beat the reliability of the Vue, and retrofit a turbo to rival the speed and ass-kicking factor of the Blazer. The Nova is nearly mythical in my mind; it’d be hard to beat for the number 1 spot.

Jennie will get the next new car, so I hope the Outback can be what I originally expected it to be after the motor is replaced. At the end of this run, though, I’d really like to get a 1970 Monte Carlo – assuming gas engines are still legal by then.

[Aside: There’s a Dodge Omni somewhere in there, too, but I didn’t count it because it never ran. An erstwhile former roommate left it behind and sent me the title rather than getting it running and moving it himself. Then, I started getting tickets for the non-running car, so it wasn’t much of a gift, and it didn’t come close to covering what he owed me (and quite a few others). Got $35 for it at a bone yard down the street.]

* = While I was inside a restaurant, the car was parked on the street, 3rd in a line of 5 cars. Somehow, someone twitched or lost control for enough time to pick my car out of the lineup and smash into it. They took off, too, but a guy on the sidewalk left me a note with the license plate number and his phone number (he said he was a lawyer, would be willing to witness in court). I presented it to the police, and the cop came back and told me it was a young woman living in student/parent housing. He said she was very apologetic. I dropped it. I was broke, too, but didn’t have a kid to feed. Just a few months later, the car was destroyed, anyhow. I feel like the Nova was doomed, but offered the chance for some good karma more than once.


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